


Both, Together

by kay_emm_gee



Series: the kids aren't alright (The 100 tumblr prompts) [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love Confessions, Tumblr Prompt, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_emm_gee/pseuds/kay_emm_gee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Bellarke + #29 ('I think I'm in love you, and I'm terrified.')</p><p>Summary: With an impending diplomatic trip to the Ice Nation, Bellamy finally confronts Clarke about her aloofness towards him, and her emotional answer takes him by surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Both, Together

“Clarke, we’re not done talking about this,” Bellamy ground out as he followed the fuming blonde into her dimly lit tent, the dark of the evening throwing everything into looming shadows. 

“Yes, we are,” she retorted, shucking off her jacket before turning to glare at him. “Like I said, you’re not coming with me. Miller andhis dad have already volunteered to be the camp’s escorts for the diplomatic mission, and besides, the camp needs you more.”

“Monty and Raven can handle everything here, no problem. And like  _I_  said, you’re not going off to the Ice Nation without me. I just told Miller I’d switch with him, so it’s done.”

“Switch back,” Clarke hissed, blue eyes flashing intensely as she took a menacing step in his direction.

“May I remind you, yet again, that I don’t take orders from you?” Bellamy muttered, his anger rising at her odd resistance to his coming with her on the mission.

At his annoyed tone, her face shuttered, smoothing into a blank canvas.  _Don’t do that, princess_ , he sighed internally, anger immediately sliding away into regret. Clarke looked away from him in feigned disinterest, and Bellamy rolled his shoulders, trying to hold back the pleas for explanations that built in his throat.

Stupidly, he thought that after months of stolen kisses and sneaking into each other’s tents at night, Clarke was finally opening up to him. In public, she was smiling more, talking with a lightness in her voice that he hadn’t heard since their early days on the ground. And, when they were alone, she no longer tensed at any intimate touch, instead burrowing into his warmth, letting him hold her after a long day or a nightmare. It still wasn’t easy, and there were many times when he felt her pull away again, but the tether between them grew stronger with every exchange of a whispered fear or a comforting embrace. Apparently, though, there were some things she still kept hidden from him.

As he watched her jaw tick anxiously, that damned awful blank look on her face, Bellamy felt something inside him snap. They couldn’t continue like this, not unless they wanted whatever thing they had going to end ugly.

“Enough,” he barked, drawing her attention sharply back to him. “I’m done with this, you pushing me away. Either you tell me what’s going on with you, or I walk. For good.”

With a glare, Clarke gritted her teeth and said, “I don’t do ultimatums, Bellamy.”

“And I don’t do secrets and lies, Clarke. We’ve all had enough of those,” he accused, not even caring as hurt flared in her eyes at his mention of ghosts that had otherwise been dealt with long ago. “No more. Now, tell me why exactly I’m not allowed to go with you to the Ice Nation.”

After a tense pause, Clarke replied gratingly, “It’s still a tenuous relationship with them, you know that. We can’t afford to have anything go wrong.”

“And you really think I’m going to mess it up? We’re a long way from whatever the hell we want, you know. So I’ll mind my manners, I promise,” he finished mockingly, finding it unbelievable that she still didn’t trust him, after all this time. What did she think he was going to do, challenge every one of the Ice Grounders to a duel on sight?  _Jesus, she must think I’m a damned heathen, only good for a screw and a—_

“I do know that!” Clarke cried out, her voice cracking. “That’s not what I— _no_ ,” she murmured, eyes filling with tears. Pressing her palm to her forehead, she closed her eyes, inhaling slowly as if to steady herself.

At a loss, Bellamy reached out, utterly confused as to what was going on with them. She flinched in surprise when his hand came to rest on her shoulder but didn’t pull away. Gradually, he felt her relax under his touch, and he squeezed her shoulder in encouragement.

“Clarke, what’s going on? Talk to me,” he pleaded softly.

When she finally looked up at him, her mouth trembled and her eyes darted around wildly as she examined his worried face.

“It’s not you I don’t trust, Bellamy,” she said finally, voice faint and laced with apprehension. “It’s them. They—they’ve made it clear that their allegiance with the other clans is bound by the thinnest thread, us being the sticking point that may snap that bond. We need this mission to go well so we can convince them that we are on their side. But,” she paused, letting out a anxious sigh. “There is a chance it might  _not_  go well, and who knows how they’ll react—we could be attacked, held hostage, or worse.”

Dark thoughts of the possible outcomes made Bellamy’s stomach clench anxiously. “Which is exactly why I need to go with you. You’ll need backup if they try and do something,” he insisted, pulling her just a bit closer.

“I can’t have you there,” Clarke whispered, raising a hand to rest lightly on his chest. “It’s too much of a risk.”

“Like putting yourself in their crosshairs isn’t?” He argued back, not understanding her reasoning.

She let out a frustrated hum before saying, “They’ll  _know_ , Bellamy.”

“Know what?” He shouted, thoroughly past trying to interpret her veiled insinuations. 

“How I feel about you! I told you what they did to Costia, because of who she was to Lexa, and I just—no, you’re not going,” Clarke snapped, shaking her head vehemently.

She kept shaking it back and forth until her face crumpled and tears began rolling down her cheeks. Reaching up slowly, Bellamy cupped her cheeks, steadying her with a gentle touch of his hands. “Clarke,” he said firmly. “Stop this.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, voice hoarse. Looking up at him, her blue eyes shone with fear and longing as the words tumbled out. “I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified. I’m terrified they’re going to know, and if things go poorly, they’re going to use that against me. And I can’t—I can’t lose you, I can’t—”

Bellamy felt his throat seize up at her admission, too shocked to respond. Then Clarke broke down, head dipping as she sobbed in earnest. Finally, he pulled her into his arms, wrapping them around her tightly.

“You’re not going to lose me,” he murmured, brushing a soft kiss against the top of her head. He let her cry, rubbing her back until her breathing eased. When she pulled back, she wiped at her red eyes, sniffing back a last hiccup. After a few more seconds to allow her to compose herself, Bellamy caught her gaze again and firmly said, “You are not going to lose me, but I’m not going to lose you either. That’s why I have to go with you. Because I love you, too, you know.”

With a surprised intake of breath, Clarke froze, looking at him with wide eyes. Her shock made Bellamy chuckle under his breath, because apparently he wasn’t the only stubborn and clueless one in this pair. 

“You okay?” He prodded in a gentle, teasing tone. When she nodded briefly, still looking a bit dazed, he smiled and said, “Alright, here’s the deal: we’re in this together, alright? We both go, or neither goes.”

“Bellamy—”

“Both or neither,” he insisted again. As the firelight flickered around them, Bellamy watched the worry lines fade slowly from her face, her expression softening into something trustful and earnest. 

“We both go,” Clarke echoed firmly, before pressing a kiss to his mouth, a heady promise that tasted like salt water and, underneath that, hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr (kay-emm-gee)!


End file.
